What a week

This was a week filled with many different thoughts and emotions, fear, sadness, relief(sort of), ambivalence, uncertainty...

First off on the medical front.

Results of the CT scan came back good. The nodules that had been detected on the earlier chest x-ray have been there for years and are not growing.

Blood work and chest/CT scans show no indication that the sarcoidosis has come out of remission.

I had a thallium treadmill test on Wednesday. This is a treadmill test where you are injected with a small dose of nuclear medicine which helps monitor the blood flow to the muscles of the heart and would help pinpoint any abnormalities or possible indicate a form of coronary disease.

Naturally when I was on the treadmill my heart did not skyrocket. The test normally takes 10 minutes to reach the target heart rate and I went well past the 10 minute mark before I reached the target heart rate of 152 bpm. My EKG was completely normal and I tested at the high end of the fitness level for people that are 30-39 years old. They also told me that my heart rate of recovery was very good. Most people recover about 10-20 bpm and my heart rate had dropped to 100 in 60 seconds. Now this is all very good news as it ruled out any form of coronary heart trouble.

Unanswered still is what is causing all of the aching legs, rapid heart rate, cramping, feelings of malaise. Not sure at this point what the next steps the doctor will take or if there will be further testing he might pursue.

One of my worst fears came to pass earlier this week at work. There had been a flurry of "fire drills" going on at work, numerous cryptic requests from upper management for information.

Thursday morning, the first wave of layoffs in my company began. There were five people in my suite who received the bad news that their jobs had been eliminated. 60 positions in Denver had been eliminated and 200 across the company. There seems to be no end to the bad news. Layoffs are part of the daily news, but it never seems real. Thursday it became real. I lost a colleague that I had worked with for 17 years. We had played golf together over the years. He was a trusted friend. The first day I started my job as a programmer in 1991 this person went out of his way to welcome me and offer his support. When I considered taking another job years ago, he was a trusted advisor in a decision I agonized over.

While I survived the first round of layoffs, I am sure there will be more to come. Our stock was trading around 30.00 in August and last week closed around 11.00.

It will feel strange at work for some time if it ever feels normal again.

I will miss my friend and many other colleagues that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to.

What will this week bring?

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