Final Chapter

Yesterday was my last day at my job, 20 years, 3 months to the day I started there.

I started on our 7th wedding anniversary.

Laura was about to turn 3 years old.

Sue was 7 months pregnant with Adam.

I have worked for this company his entire lifetime.

Weirdness.

The last 42 days at work have been very difficult.

We trained a team of people on how to do our jobs.  Transition 20 years of knowledge in a series of 1-2 hour sessions.

More weirdness.

The last week for me was about getting closure and being complete with the people that mattered most to me.

I had to say good bye to one of my colleagues on Monday. 

The first glimpse of the emotions that would fill the rest of the week.

I told her that I had loved working with her, I will miss you.   I hugged her good bye.   She told me to stay in touch...

Wednesday, I scheduled a meeting with another of my colleagues.  We chatted about all the years we had shared.   We had both raised our families while we worked together.

I said my good byes to three of my favorite people on Thursday, thanking them for their support and friendship that has meant so much to me.

Friday was a final lunch with another person I was close to.   I couldn't bring myself to say what I needed to say to her.  I knew I wasn't complete.

We got back to our desks,  I grabbed a box of kleenex and asked her to come with me to an empty conference room.  

I was surprised by the emotion I felt.  I had gotten through all of my good byes with no tears and now my voice quavered and the tears began to fall.

I said what I needed to say, we hugged one another good bye through our tears.

I said my good byes to the final two people that I wanted to acknowledge before I left.

I struggled so much these last 42 days at work, trying to understand the lesson, trying to find the gift.

When Kelly was dying, her Mom talked about that there was nothing left unsaid between Kelly and her family.   That was part of the gift of her cancer journey.

For me, that was my gift as well to leave nothing left unsaid.

I thought I was giving my friends this gift and it turned out that it was really a gift I ended up giving to myself.

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Jack Bauer and me

I am winding down to my last 24 hours at my job.

Luckily, I am past the days when 24 hours used to occur in real time. I had more times than I care to recall when my days would last that long and then some.

24 hours to go in a career that has lasted  over 45,000 hours.

In Jack Bauer time, I would be starting episode 1,875.

I wonder if Chloe can upload that link to my PDA.

So for now I am running out of  time

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First learn balance then....

Ever wondered what it is like to be absolutely at peace with yourself and experience life’s simple pleasures with an open heart and quiet appreciation? If you can do this then you have found your balance.

In the movie the Karate Kid, Mr Miyagi stresses the importance of learning balance to Daniel.

This movie in an understated feel good way teaches one of the most important lessons in life.

First learn balance, then learn....

Balance is everything.

Athletic injuries are usually rooted in balance or really the lack of balance. If you have an imbalance one muscle compensates for a weaker muscle and boom, here comes an injury. I have strong hamstrings and weak glute muscles. Boom, now I have a hamstring injury.

I once lost my balance on my bike while at a complete stop, fell while clipped into my pedals and ended up with a frozen shoulder and a year of misery.

To be an efficient swimmer it is essential to find balance in the water. Struggle with balance in a pool and you waste a lot of energy just trying not to sink. I know this all too well. I excel at sinking. Next time you get a chance watch a good swimmer notice how their hips ride high in the water and they are able to swim with effortless power because they have found balance.

One of my goals this year is to learn balance. I need to learn balance so I can do the activities I enjoy. I want to run for the rest of my life. I want to live the rest of my life.

First learn balance then live life.

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