Welcome to 2015

I have been thinking about how to welcome in this new year.  I am not a fan of new year's resolutions.  I don't think that making a resolution will effect lasting change.  I think goals and intentions are more effective.

A resolution is weak, a commitment is strong.

You only make commitments for things you can control.

You can make a New Year's resolution to lose weight this year, but you can't commit to it.

However, you can make a commitment to running, cycling, and lifting weight three times a week and eating a calorie deficit of 500 calories a day.

Having said that, here are my goals for 2015.  Over the course of a year the goals may need to be adjusted.  After a year where I ran a grand total of four times, rode my bike outside a total of three times the very first goal I have set may not a realistic goal.  So rather than abandoning an unmet resolution, a goal can be adjusted.  During the years when I was fortunate enough to be able to run marathons, I always had an A race time goal if everything went perfectly, a B race time goal, all the way to a D race time goal.  Over the vastness of running 26.2 miles anything could happen and over the vastness of a year an athletic goal will most likely need some tweaks.  Only once in my running years did I ever exceed a yearly mileage goal so while I can commit to this goal, I will need to stay healthy and avoid the injury bugaboo that has derailed me in the past.

So here are my goals that as I begin this year are in my control.

1. 2015 miles. This can be done either running, cycling, swimming, walking for a total of 2015 miles. I don't care what the medium I use to accomplish this.  Moving forward is the goal. 
2. Read one book a month and write about it here or publish a review on Amazon.
3. Donate platelets fifteen times.

“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

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Iron Horse Bicycle Classic

Last Saturday, I finally rode in the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic, or at least attempted to...

                                             Young cancer kicker, riding for her Grandmother!

This ride has long been on my bucket list of rides I wanted to do when I started riding my bike again in 2002.

The premise of the ride is to race the Iron Horse train from Durango to Silverton. Train and cyclists start at the same time.  Cyclists that beat the train in get bragging rights.

I would not be one of those cyclists.

I heard the whistle of the train at the start of the ride and then again about 15 miles into the ride. 

That would be the last time I would hear or see the train during the ride.

At that point the road began to turn uphill and so began what felt like the longest and at times hardest climb of my life.

I normally like to climb, actually prefer that to descending.

I was woefully unprepared for this ride.  I had done minimal training for a 50 mile bike ride with climbs over two mountain passes and 5,000 feet of climbing.

I had actually done no hill work in preparation for this ride. NONE, ZERO, ZIP.

I thought I could fake my way through this ride, rely on the muscle memory of climbs completed long ago. 

I paid the price for the lack of respect I gave this ride.  I really thought I could just show up and pull this off.

The climb up Coal Bank pass began around 31 miles into the ride.  This was after a continual steady climb for the last 15 miles.  Now the road became steep. 

I suffered like I have never suffered before on the bike.  I simply couldn't turn the pedals over.  I couldn't get into any kind of rhythym during the climb.

My legs were burning, sweat pouring down my forehead into my eyes.  I couldn't see.  

I had to stop time and time again, wait for my heart rate to come down and then I would set off again only to repeat the cycle over and over again over the next 4 miles.

I didn't think I would ever make it to the summit. 

When I finally did, I was met by a most unpleasant site.  The state patrol car was blocking the road to Silverton.  I was done. I had missed the cutoff time by two minutes.

There was nothing to do, but to sadly load my bike on the Ryder truck and wait for the road to Silverton to open at 1:00.

I got on the bus with the other forlorn cyclists and we exchanged rueful, embarrassed glances.

This was the first time this had ever happened to me.  I had never missed a cut off time and been swept off the course.

The only other ride I have ever not finished was last summer, when I wrecked my bike in a freak accident 6 miles from the finish line...

Surpsingly, I was not at all upset by this turn of events.

I failed in a big way on Saturday, and I didn't make it mean anything about who I am.  This didn't make me a failure as a person.

The failure was born out of a complete lack of preparation. 

As I was riding the bus to Silverton, I thought what a great opportunity this was for me to have a conversation with the youth I am mentoring.

I didn't do my homework(hill work) skipped classes(training rides) , showed up and hoped to pass the final exam.  I got the grade I earned.

I am not gifted enough athletically to be able to fake my way through a challenging ride in the mountains.  I might have been able to fake my way through a 50 mile ride over flat terrain. 

I never gave up on Saturday.  I pedaled on until I was told I couldn't finish.  That was important to me.

This experience was a great learning opportunity for me.

Whether it is work, school, cycling, running, showing up is the single most important thing one can do to increase your chances of succeeding.

I don't know if I will ever attempt the Iron Horse ride again, but if I do, I will be sure to do my homework before I take the final exam.

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Cycling and Family traditions

Laura and I went for a bike ride this afternoon.

When Laura was a young girl, we did a 20 mile bike ride. Laura had a 3 speed bike.  I had an old Schwinn 12 speed bike.

Things are quite different now.

We rode 26.5 miles today and tonight I am sore and tired.  I think Laura is going to be an awesome triathlete.

She has the huge advantage of being able to swim.  That seems to be the weakest link in the chain for most people when they move to that sport.

I spent most of the ride today, trying to grab her rear wheel and by the time I would finally catch up to her, my legs were screaming. 

Tonight Sue made one of our family favorite meals, "Chicken A La Sue". 

Laura had a tiny helping of mashed potatoes for dinner tonight.

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Ten Goals for 2010

My Goals for 2010:

1. Run 2010 kilometers, cycle 2010 miles, swim 20.10 miles
2. Run a marathon with Team in Training
3. Do a century ride for the American Diabetes Association
4. Ride in the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic
5. Climb my first fourteener.
6. Read 10 books.
7. Attend 20 Yoga classes.
8. Attend 20 spinning classes.
9. Snowshoe 10 times
10. Play 10 rounds of golf with Adam

Some of the things  I am looking forward to in 2010:

Date nights with Sue :)
Seeing Laura graduate from college with her degree in Bio Physics! 
Seeing Brittany graduate with her Assoicates degree
Runs at the Irish Snug with Laura, Michelle, Nate, Keegan and Kristin.
Making memories with my family.
My volunteer work for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
Following the adventures of my running and blogging friends who inspire me.
Going riding with Laura and my sister.
Playing golf with Adam.
Living life with intention, gratitude and joy.

My goals may change, they most likely will need some sort of adjustment.   I might add some new goals during the year. 

What goals do you have for 2010?

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Moab Century ride

Last Saturday,  I completed my third century ride with Team in Training and my seventeenth event with TNT since I first started running for Kelly in 1999.

Sue, Laura and I headed out for Moab on Thursday afternoon with my Fuji bike safely packed in the trunk. Adam wasn't able to come as he had to work.

Friday morning, Laura and I went out for a quick run where we saw some rocks, red rocks.

Later that morning we had our last workout before the century ride. We did a 30 mile ride where we saw some rocks, red rocks.

We headed off to the the TNT inspiration dinner. There was a slide show that ran continously of our heroes and angels. There were probably 30-40 different pictures on the slide show. The minute we walked into the room, Kelly's picture was the first one we saw.

As I was standing in line at the buffet I felt my heart breaking again for Kelly, for Laiken.  There were other pictures of young people on the slide show.  It is so sad and infuriating at the same time .

The Rocky Mountain chapter was one of six chapters attending this event.  Combined the six chapters had raised $350,000 to support the mission of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

Saturday morning we gathered in the darkness outside our hotel waiting for the start.  We rolled off at 7:05 with a police escort for 125 Team in Training cyclists.  It was already warm when we started.   That was not a good sign.

We rolled out of town and immediately started climbing.  The first part of the climb was fairly flat giving us a chance to get our legs underneath us before the road turned uphill too steeply.

I had a weird conversation with my cycling coach.  He told me I was riding my bike like a triathlete.  I asked him what that meant.  He said I was riding like I wanted to get from the swim to the run.  I wasn't quite sure what to do with that piece of advice 45 minutes into a ride I had been in training for five months so I filed it away for the time being.

After the first aid station, I caught up with another group of my teammates and one of our other coaches, so I just tucked in behind the last cyclist and let the coach set the pace for our small group.

We saw a sign that told us the first climb of the day was upon us.  The Little Nasty as it is affectionately called or maybe not so affectionately.

I was riding with Andres Pedraza who was a collegaue of mine on the Board of Trustees for the Rocky Mountain chapter.   I was riding in front of him as we started the climb up the Little Nasty.  He told me he liked having me in front of him as the pictures I had pinned on the back of my jersey were helping him stay motivated.  I told Andres I had lots of reasons to be riding.  Here are four of them.

My heroes and angels.

Brittany-24

Alyson-5

Kelly

Laiken

Parts of this climb have a 14% elevation grade.  Ouch! 

I actually got in a good rhythm during this portion of the climb.  I was in the correct gear on my bike and made it to the top of the first climb fairly easily.

It was a neat moment for me as I was able to lead Andres on this first climb and was able to get a good picture of him during the final moments of his ascent on the Little Nasty.

Smooth pedaling.

No worries!

Great music, pulling you up the hill.

Who the heck are you?

We left the summit of the Little Nasty and encountered the next sign called Tom's Misery named after a friend of the race director who was quite miserable when he found out he wasn't done climbing and there was much more to come.

We encountered a sign called the Launch pad and then we saw the sign announcing we were about to start the climb up the "Big Nasty". 

So our group decided we better commerate this moment in the true pioneer spirit.

Rocky Mountain TNT mocks the Big Nasty!

Like many things in life, the fear I had of being able to climb the Big Nasty were overblown.  I didn't fall off my bike.  I didn't have to stop and walk.  Some of the climbs I had done in Colorado were much harder.

There was one stretch where the road looked incredibly steep and so long.   I remember feeling very afraid  and I asked Kelly to stay with me during for the rest of the climb and I felt her presence as I have so many times before and we rode to the top of the Big Nasty together.

After the Big Nasty there was still many more miles of climbing to be done.  The next stretch was called the Stairway to Heaven.

Finally after 30 miles, we were about to start our first descent.   As always, that wasn't much fun for me and was even worse than normal as the road was really torn up and there was lots of loose gravel to try and navigate around.   My wrists were aching by the time I finally got to the bottom of this descent.  It was quite treacherous, lots of sharp switchbacks and the gravel that was all over the road.  What a relief to finally hit a nice long straight section with a nice gentle descent.

When I got to the TNT aid station, I caught up with Andres again and we set off on a long out and back section that had lots of rolling hills and zero shade for 18 miles.  It was really hot at this point and it didn't seem like we were ever going to get the turnaround point.

The return part was even worse.  The sun was beating down on us.   I had to let Andres go,  I couldn't stay with him.

When I got back to the TNT aid station, I was in bad shape.  I was dehydrated, and think I may have had some heat exhaustion.  Looking back now, I realize as hot as it was I had stopped sweating.  I felt awful. The people at the aid station were very worried about me and wouldn't let me leave without having someone else to ride with.   I sat in the shade for 45 minutes, drank two full bottles of Gatorade. 

The last 15 miles were a blur.  I couldn't drink any more water.  The sun continued to beat down.  I couldn't do anything, so as best as I could I pedaled on.

We stopped 2 miles short of the finish line to wait for the rest of our chapter so we could finish as a team.

I sat in the shade for another 30 minutes, one of my teammates gave me the last of her powerade.  That seemed to help a little.

Finally we were off and finished the ride as a team.

It was ironic that the part of the ride I was so fearful of wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  It was the last 50 miles of rolling hills and the heat that had done me in.  

My Garmin said I had only rode 98+ miles, not 100.  I didn't care.  I didn't tack on the extra mileage to get to 100.

I got off my bike and walked back to the hotel with Sue and Laura. 

I haven't been back on my bike since,

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Smorgasboard

Labor Day weekend has come and gone far too fast.

I left work Friday afternoon and headed over to Dekeovend Park for the Arapahoe Invitational High school cross country meet. One of my co-workers has a daughter that runs on the cross country team for Columbine High school.

Jenna is a sophmore this year and is running with the varsity team!

This meet has a great location, and features a bit of everything, running in open fields, on trail and even a quick dash across a shallow stream.

Watching these kids run the last 100 meters served as a reminder why I never have and never will be a sprinter.

1. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I simply do not have the fast twitch muscles that are required.

2. It hurts.

Being a mid to the back of the pack runner is fine with me.

Kudos to these kids for putting it all out on the line. Some of the sprints were amazing to watch.

Saturday after finally overcoming a mental obstacle, found me back on my bike for the first time in 20 days. I either had to get on the bike or give up on doing the TNT century ride in Moab in two weeks.

Much to my surprise, I had a good day on the bike. No silly accidents, no encounters with any irate drivers. I even had a couple of people smile at me and wait for me to get out of their way.

I went over to Runner's Roost to pick up my race package for the Park to Park 10 mile run on Monday.

I saw one of the former TNT running coaches who is on of the race directors for this event. Maureen asked me how Kelly was doing. She was shocked when I told her that Kelly had passed away almost 18 months ago.

I had sent her one of Kelly and Adam's pictures from prom weekend in 2006. Like many of us, Maureen thought there was no way her cancer could return.

Sunday night, Sue and I went with Laura to visit a church she recently started to visit. The church has an interesting name, "Scum of the Earth".

The church that Sue and I have been attending meets in a movie theatre. Keegan calls it "movie church". Lol.

Monday, I ran in the Park to Park 10 mile race. This race hits four very beautiful parks in the Denver area. It is a great tour of the city, run along tree lined, beautiful homes. This is one of my favorite races to run.

Before the race I saw three of my TNT cycling teammates right before the start. We were joking as we had all signed up under the "it sounded like a good idea at the time". We were debating the wisdom of our decision and agreed we would probably file it under the "what was I thinking" category.

I saw Catherine(Mighty Mason's Mom) and we chatted for a few moments as well. She said her goal for the Nike Marathon on October 18, was to be less injured than she was for the Denver marathon last year.

Staying injury free when training for a marathon is a huge challenge. I am just amazed that Catherine can train around the hospital visits, planned and unplanned around Mason's treatment.

Mason started first grade a couple of weeks ago. He looks great. They have twenty six weeks to go to complete his relapse therapy. Catherine and family take nothing for granted. They know things can change on the flip of a dime.

Catherine motored past me shortly after the one mile mark. I tried to "grab her wheel" as we say in cycling lingo. I wanted to try and get a picture of her running, but I couldn't catch her. These cancer Mom's are strong!

I dedicated my run this morning to Melina Elizabeth Wachter who earned her angel wings five years ago today at the age of ten months. Melina's family hosts a golf tournament every year and donate the proceeds to the Bone marrow transplant unit to help other families and children that are fighting for their lives. Take that, cancer!

I didn't run as well as I had hoped. I picked what I thought was a realistic time goal, but I guess I was overly optimistic on what I could do. I only hit my goal pace a couple of times during the ten miles, felt some unwanted aches and pains in different places. I ran on as best as I was able to for Melina.

I ran a personal worst at this distance. I added over 7 minutes this year. I really wasn't physically prepared to run this far at any sort of pace.

I had been clinging to the hope that I could still somehow run the Denver marathon in 6 weeks. Today was a reality check. It just isn't going to happen. I can let go of that now.

We had lunch with my parents at Macoroni Grill and then headed off to Coors Field with Keegan for the Rockies Game.

The Rockies came from behind to win 4-3! Keegan for the most part did really well at the game today.

I was surprised that during the 7th inning stretch they played God Bless America. I was even more suprised by my reaction. I don't know if it is because we are 4 days away from another anniversary of 9/11. I couldn't sing the words, I was overcome with emotion.

Keegan is really attached to Laura(La La) and Adam(Amu) as he calls them.  Both of my kids are so devoted to Keegan.  They spoil him so much you would think they were grandparents :)

Keegan doesn't have a father figure. I wonder if our niece has any idea how much Keegan loves Adam. Adam is so good with Keegan. After the game, he was really tired. He loves to sit on Adam's shoulders and he leaned over and rested his head on top of Adam's and gave him a hug. It was such a sweet moment.

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Spinning & Connecting with Kelly

I finally got back on my bike today.

I woke up early this morning as I just routinely moved my leg only to feel like my calf was exploding. I haven't had an episode like that for a long time. The pain is unbelievable. I was barely able to walk for a couple of hours.

Luckily, today was a cycling day, not a running day.

I procrastinated for as long as I could. I didn't want to go riding today.

I had to get back on my bike. Ever since I wrecked my bike almost 3 weeks ago, I just have not wanted to ride.

The Moab Century is in two weeks so if I didn't get out on the bike today, I might as well give up on going.

I ended up tricking myself into a 54+ mile bike ride. I told myself I would go for 20-30 and do a long ride again tomorrow.

I actually felt much better today than I thought I was going to.

I never shifted out of the middle ring on my bike. I was determined to try and spin today instead of mashing.

It worked. I rarely got out of the saddle today and the few times I did today it was more just to change my position on the bike. When I did stand, I kept my cadence high.

I didn't do a lot of climbing today. I just didn't feel like I could go from zero miles to 50-60 miles and ask my body to do much climbing.

I desperately needed some success on the bike. The pratfall and the freak accident had really shaken my confidence.

Today I gave myself a chance to succeed. The focus was on feeling, a way of being, not on the outcome, how far or how fast.

The unexpected bonus for me was how I felt totally connected with Kelly today. It is so much easier for me to run or ride when I feel her presence with me. Today, I totally felt that connection with her. The miles flew by. It was like a dream that I did not want to wake up from.
I felt content, peaceful. We were together again, like we have been so many times before.

It was the best day I have had on the bike in a long time. Riding with and for my hero.

Grateful for her life and for the love that lives on in my heart.

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How do you train for a Century ride without a bike?

I am really on a roll right now, but my bicycles are not.

I noticed that the bike I had rode in the Copper Triangle in a couple of week ago was not functioning properly. The back wheel was sticking so I had to use my other bike, which was badly in need of a tune up.

I rode in the Span the Rockies ride last Sunday in Boulder Colorado. This was a really small ride that offered a 75K, a 130K and a 200K choice of distances.

I opted for the 130K(80.9) miles.

Most of the climbing occurred in the first 28 miles of the ride, but oh what a climb there was in the last mile or so of Left Hand Canyon.

I have a bicycle with a triple chain ring, which a serious cyclist would scoff at, but for a not very strong cyclist it keeps me on the road and help me be a more effective climber.

Problem is that I resist using the easier gear even though I know I am simply not a strong enough cyclist to take on steep ascents without it.

Left Hand Canyon is a fairly steady 16 mile climb. I did the first 9 miles of the climb in the big ring of my bike, which was a disastrous course of action. So at about the 21 mile mark of the ride, I relented and shifted into the middle ring of my bike, but by this time my legs were already burning.

The last time I rode in Left Hand Canyon was the year I was training for the 2003 Century ride and six years later, I had totally forgotten how much the road was about to turn up hill.

As the grade in the road began to increase, so did the burning in my legs and I began to feel very uneasy.

I am pretty sure at this point I was the last ride that was doing the 130K ride. I had not seen another cyclist with a number on their bike for a long time.

Six years ago, I thought of myself as a pretty good climber. Now I can't remember why I used to think of myself that way.

There were times during the climb, I could not turn my pedals over and I had to stop and rest even in my "Granny gear". I was spent.

Each time I tried to get back in the saddle and start riding again, I struggled getting my shoes clipped into my pedals. For some reason I could not get clipped in and I felt very fearful of falling again. I looked for a flatter spot to get back on my bike and continued to struggle.

For the first time that I can remember, I felt totally afraid as I failed repeatedly in my efforts to start pedaling again.

I don't know how many times I had to stop. As other cyclists zoomed by me, I pretended that I had stopped to drink some water and enjoy the scenery. I did get some good pictures at least out of my folly.


The last mile was so hard. Again I had to get off my bike and push it up the hill. Never have I had to this before. I felt like crying. I felt totally defeated.

Finally I made it to the top of the climb and mercifully encountered a 1/2 mile descent to the aid station.

Before starting a good stretch of descent, I put my jacket back on as it was quite windy and a bit chilly. Even during the descent I did not feel well. Any time I had to pedal for any amount of time felt horrible. My legs were shot.

I wondered how am I going to get back to the start line. I did not enjoy the descent. There were part of the road that had little or no shoulder and to make things worse the descent was into a head wind and a cross wind which really affects your balance on the bike.

I continued even during the descent to get off my bike and rest and take some pictures.



I was so relieved to make it to the next aid station at the 55 mile mark. There was only about a marathon left to pedal and would be mostly flat with a few rolling hills. My legs finally were feeling better where I could pedal again.

I chatted for a mile or so with a young man who was training for his first Ironman in November. It was the first time all day I was not riding entirely by myself. It was nice to have some company, but we soon turned different directions and I was by myself again.

A volunteer at the last aid station told me there were 15 miles to go. We headed east into a very uninteresting part of the ride. Ugh. Now there was not even any scenery to distract myself with.

Shortly before the 75 mile mark I almost stopped at a 7-11 to get something cold to drink. Any excuse to get off the bike. I decided to forge on. After a brief stop at a light, I crossed the intersection at Arapahoe and headed towards Baseline Road.

200 yards or so, something went horribly wrong. Suddenly I could not pedal. My chain locked up. I got clipped out of my pedals without falling and looked down at my bike. The jacket I had worn during the descent had fallen out of my jersey pocket landed on my chain and in a matter or seconds tore the derailleur off my bike.

I struggled to free my jacket from the chain. I had to remove the rear wheel and after finally freeing my jacket from a jacket eating chain, I knew the damage to my bike was beyond repair.

I was done riding for the day. I was still 6+ miles away from my car.

I was barely able to reattach the wheel to my bike and I set off to walk back to my car.

I pushed my bike on a very busy street in Bolder, sadly holding on to the chain of my bike.

I walked about two miles when a nice young man in a convertible offered to help me get my bike back to my car. He was willing to let my throw his bike in the back seat of a really nice convertible. I found out later the reason he had stopped was because I was wearing my Team In Training cycling jersey and he was a former participant. Go Team!!!

I finally made it back to my car after another misadventure with my bike.

What is up with all of these accidents? Out of the last 3 weeks, I have managed to bend a wheel, break a spoke during a fall when my chain slipped going up a steep incline, because I did not shift into a ring where I would be able to keep my pedals turning over.

Tripped on some uneven pavement while running, the next week and now this. The only good thing was this week I managed to break my consecutive week of falling streak.

However I am now 4 weeks away from a Century ride that I have been training for since May 9th and I don't have a bike.

I took in my Fuji bike tonight and luckily that will only cost $20.00 to true the wheel and replace a broken spoke.

I fear my Bianchi bike will be much more expensive to repair along with my confidence.

Can I really take on the Big Nasty in 4 weeks? Am I strong enough physically to do this?

I honestly do not know the answer right now.

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Copper Triangle

I rode in the Copper Triangle last Saturday. The ride went over 3 mountain passes, 5,900 feet of climbing over 78 miles.

I even managed to do something I have never done before on my bike during the ride.

The event was a benefit for the Davis Phinney foundation. I love how almost every ride or road race has a tie to greater purpose.

I started a few minutes after 7:00. There is no mass start to events like this. This is not a timed event, although I did encounter a few people on the ride yesterday that acted like it was a race.

The course started from the base of the Copper Mountain Ski resort and headed out on Highway 91 where we started the climb to Fremont Pass(11,318) feet. The climb to Fremont Pass covered about 10.5 miles with approximiately 1,800 feet of climbing.

I did this climb staying in the large chain ring on my bike, which as I look back on it now, wasn't a very good decision.

For some reason, I have turned more into a masher(Large resistance, lower cadence) instead of a spinner(Less resistance, higher cadence). Spinning takes more work, but keeps the legs must fresher.

The year I rode in the Triple Bypass, I was much more of a spinner and I think I was a much better climber. For some reason this year, I just don't seem to be able to spin. Mashing has more power, but comes with a price.

After stopping at the first aid station, began the first major descent of the day. It was still pretty chilly(40-45 degrees) which is great for running, but rather cold on the bike when travling 30-35 mph.

The next aid station was 20 miles away and it was for the most part a very fast 20 miles. There was a brief climb to get to the aid station at the top of Tennesee Pass.

Leaving the second aid station, was met with another rapid descent, a nice stretch of flat road with a few short rolling hills.

We met a short, but pretty good uphill climb where we were treated to some great views for those that took the time to enjoy the fruits of the climb.

On a downer, there was an arrogant young man that taunted the other riders for not racing to the top of the hill and he spewed a obscenity laced tirade when another rider reminded him that was not a race. I hoped he would get a flat tire as he seemed to have plenty of hot air about him.

The bad part for me of finishing a climb comes the corresponding descent. I never feel comfortable in descending and I try and hang way to the back and give the other riders around me plenty of room. I don't think I ever pass anyone on the left during a descent. I have quit beating myself up for my lack of confidence during descents. It is what it is.

We passed Minturn and rode for a good stretch next to a river which is always a treat for me to listen to the sound the water makes. So peaceful.

We got to the first aid station at on the West side of Vail around the 56 mile mark. According to the map we would then begin the most difficult climb of the day ascending 2,500 feet over the next 15 miles or so.

I knew at some point the road would turn uphill and there would be some suffering on this ascent. The sun was now out in full force. It always seems to be sunny during the climb and then cloudy during the descent. The cyclings Gods seem to have a strange sense of humor.

So as I have done so many times, I thought of the people I am riding for and asked for them to stay with me during the climb. I know that while what I am doing is physcially challenging, it pales in comparision to the battles that my heroes and angels have endured.

I reminded myself that I was riding for Brittany and Trista, and Mason and Brandan(who is on his make a wish trip this weekend), Alyson(my newest little warrior hero) and of course my angels.

As I always do, I thought of Kelly. Much of the course I rode today, I had rode in the reverse direction in 2004 when I rode the Triple Bypass so I held those memories of her close in my heart as I headed towards the Vail Pass climb. I looked up towards the sky, touched my heart and whispered her name, and pedaled on wrapped in the safety of the love and light of my virtual peleton.

We crisscrossed between the road and bike path, crossed under I-70 where a volunteer noticed I was wearing my Team In Training jersey and she yelled out, "Go Team" and then she yelled again, "Oh my gosh, It's Ross. Go Ross!". One of the staff people from the Rocky Mountain Chapter had come up to volunteer at the event. That was such a boost to get a shout of encouragement. Thanks Tamara!

I kept thinking, this isn't as hard as I feared it would be. The miles were clicking by. We hit a steeper section and then I was lulled into thinking the climb was over. We started a brief descent and then had to make a sharp left hand turn and then the hill got steep very quickly.

I wasn't thinking very clearly. I didn't react in time to the steepness of the ascent. I had to decide if I wanted to attack the hill and get out of the saddle and power over the hill or downshift to the smaller ring and stay seated. The earlier mashing on the first climb of the day affected the decision I made. I opted for staying seated and tried to downshift to my smaller ring. The hill was too steep and the chain wouldn't go from the larger ring to the little ring.

It was too late. I hoped somehow it would release and I could make it up the hill and then the chain slipped off and the pedals locked and it was over. It was like watching a movie in slow motion. My pedals locked and gravity took over and I fell hard on my right side landing on my right elbow and right hip.

I have never fallen off my bike while it was moving. I got back up right away. Several people asked if I was okay. I told everbody I thought I was okay, but I was shaken up by the fall. It took me a couple of minutes to fix my chain. My legs felt really shaky and I was still on a really steep part of the path so I walked for about 1/4 of a mile where I could get back on my bike again and start pedaling.

We kept climbing and climbing. I didn't think we would ever reach the summit of the pass. The map had lied. The aid summit wasn't at mile 71, more like mile 74. Grrrr....

I texted Sue and Laura and told them I was leaving Vail Pass and they could expect me shortly.

The ride to Copper is all downhill and I don't think I hardly pedaled at all the last 5 miles or so.

I was relieved to make it to the finish line and get off my bike.

My Garmin said 79.25 miles, not 78. No wonder it took so long!

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TNT Group ride-Elephant Rock Metric Century course

TNT training ride on Saturday followed the Elephant Rock Metric Century ride course.

We did some pace line training. It is really cool if you can grab the wheel of the rider in front of you. Saves so much energy as you can draft is you stay close enough. Requires constant communication and trust with the people you are riding with. It is very powerful and also a bit unnerving. To do this correctly the front wheel of the bike you are riding should be right next to the rear wheel of the bike in front of you. This was our first pace line ride of the year so the gaps are a bit too far apart to get the benefit.


Rode up and down some rolling hills towards Palmer Lake.


Made sure that everyone was properly hydrated including Brian(Our sag wagging support :)


Andres got up after taking a nasty fall in the gravel. Andres is a board member for the Rocky Mountain chapter. Andres cut his leg, will have a good case of road rash, hurt his elbow and wrist on the fall. It is always unsettling to see a rider go down. Hope he is okay today.

We had our largest group ride of the season. 27 cyclists!

We have three cancer survivors riding on the team. One of the survivors is the Colorado Springs coach! Very cool to have them out providing additional inspiration to us.

The ride this week was not nearly as hard as last weeks ride. My legs did not feel very good again today. I had not been on my bike since Monday so I took it fairly easy today. My heart rate skyrocketed during the first climb of the day. I backed off the intensity and spent a lot more time trying to relax on the bike and spin at a higher cadence to try and keep my legs fresher.

I actually felt pretty good during the last climb of the day. I was pleasantly surprised when I got to the top of Tomah Road and started to descend. I even managed to enjoy the descent. I remembered a tip my cycling coach from the 2003 season gave me and it really helped me feel like I had better control. Thanks, Gary!

2 weeks from Saturday is the Copper Triangle. 3 mountain passes, 78 miles and 5,900 feet of climbing.

9 weeks to the Moab Century and the encounter with the Big Nasty. 30 miles of climbing right out of the start....

I hope I will be ready. I am very nervous about the first part of the race. I have plenty of inspiration and reasons to ride. My heroes and my angels will pull me to the top.

For all of us involved in this fight to find a cure, the truth is that it will not happen soon enough.

I found out when I got home on Saturday that another angel had earned his wings. Please keep the Lindgren family in your thoughts and prayers.

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight".- Kahlil Gibran

My heart breaks again for some I don't know. The battle rages on.

For now I will continue to pedal. I wish I could do more...

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Riding for Trista

I love the roaring sound of water.

Summit of Ute Pass(9,500 feet)

Blue River

Blue River Century-Getting ready to roll!

I felt very emotional as we rolled off at the start. There were approximately 275 riders that had signed up for the ride, raising money for the Lance Armstrong foundation, riding in honor or in memory of their loved ones.

I was riding in honor of my cousin's daughter, Trista Otto, age 11 who was recently diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of bone cancer. My Aunt had sent me a picture of Trista which I pinned to the back of my jersey. I received many compliments and well wishes for Trista during the ride.

I knew I wasn't really physically ready for this ride. My longest ride had only been 42-43 miles and I had done very little climbing. In some ways that was by choice as I almost felt like it wasn't fair that I could choose to train. Trista didn't get a choice about her cancer.

Off we rolled and I thought of the fight that lays ahead for Trista. I thought about Kelly's fight, the courage she had as she battled for almost 12 years.

I thought about one of the lines I really like in the Lance Armstrong Manifesto as we rode off together.

We're about the fight.

And I thought of the LLS chapter staff

And the Moms I know that fight relentlessly for their kids

And my team heroes

And my TNT teammates

And my angels

We're about the fight, about being relentless for a cure, providing support and hope in anyway we can.

So we pedaled.

There was a 5.1 mile climb to the top of Ute Pass.

After the descent there was a 20 mile per hour headwind which battered the riders. There were times I could have sworn I was riding downhill and I still had to pedal hard.

The wind was relentless, swirling. It was really discouraging. We were getting pummelled. There was nothing to do, but to pedal. So we did.

The last aid station was phenomenal. Cheese and crackers, cookies. Wonderful volunteers. Helpful, supportive, caring. One asked me about Trista. I told him I was riding in her honor. I didn't know what else to do. I just feel helpless, powerless...Riding, doing something is empowering.

They told me it was 6 miles up Montezuma road and 6 miles back to the finish. It was a long 6 miles and I got my wish. I suffered those last 6 miles of climbing. There were times I was tempted to just turnaround. No one will know.

I had to keep going. It was important for me to keep fighting for Trista. I want her to get to her finish line with a cure. If I quit, I wouldn't be honoring her. I wouldn't be honoring Kelly's memory if I gave up. So I pedaled and pedaled and I struggled to turn the pedals over. Finally I saw the sign for the turnaround. I was done climbing.

I am not done fighting.

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The week ahead

On tap for this week.

Milk Truck Monday. The kind of day when you feel like you have been run over by a Milk Truck. I think today the rubber is going to meet the road on a project my team has been working on for over a year.

Tuesday-I am going to ride my bike to work for the first time this year. I struggle so much making the commitment to do that the first time.

Wednesday-My last board meeting for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. More to come on that.

Thursday-Irish Snug running with Keegan and Laura.

Friday-Heading up to Keystone for the Blue River Metric Century ride.

Saturday-Riding to honor Trista. Bring on the hills. I love going up the hills. I have complete control of that and I even get to say "On your left" a few times and pass others while I am climbing.

Descending is another story. I feel totally out of control. I don't enjoy it at all. For most people the descent is the rush and for me it brings out fear.

I had an interesting insight this morning.

I crave that feeling of being in control. When I climb, I have control of my pace, my effort, my breathing.

When I descend I have to trust and surrender and that is really hard for me.

Control? Trust and Surrender?

If you risk nothing, then you risk everything-Geena Davis

How do you live your life?

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Riding for Trista

I have to do something.

I just happened to see an ad in Facebook for the Blue River Century and Metric Century ride which is a benefit for the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

While it may not be the smartest decision I have ever made, I feel like it is something I am supposed to be doing.

I signed up to for the metric century distance(62.1 miles, 3,500 feet of climbing). So on June 20th, I will set out to ride in Trista's honor.

I am woefully unprepared to do this, but who is ready to hear those three words. You have cancer.

I still have almost 3 weeks to train and prepare myself as best as I can to get through the day.

While I am training and able to take rest days if I need to or if I am just not feeling motivated, Trista has chemo treatments. She doesn't have the luxury of choosing.

So many times we have more than one choice as we go about our lives.

Kelly, Laiken, Brittany and now Trista and so many others, too many others.

Cancer, choose.

Choose your cancer.

It's not fair. It's just life.

Choose your life.

Livestrong!

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1,278 miles

A post having nothing to do with anything, but numbers.

From June 1-August 31 I ran 622 miles.
I rode 656 miles over the same period of time.

I ran a total of 84 times

Average run 7.41 miles
Shortest run, 3.1 miles(5K)
Longest run , 20.2 miles
Average week-47.8 mile

I ran the most miles I have ever run in back to back to back months

June- 191
July- 206
August- 225

This is a huge amount of miles for me and each one of these months might just be a weeks worth of running for an elite marathoner.

622 miles = 100 10K runs
622 miles = 23.74 marathons

1,278 miles

Where could I have gone if I took a road trip?

1,282 miles to Edmonton Canada
1,277 miles to San Francisco California
1275 miles to Chattanooga Tennessee
1265 miles to Portland Oregon

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