Saturday, September 5, 2009

Spinning & Connecting with Kelly

I finally got back on my bike today.

I woke up early this morning as I just routinely moved my leg only to feel like my calf was exploding. I haven't had an episode like that for a long time. The pain is unbelievable. I was barely able to walk for a couple of hours.

Luckily, today was a cycling day, not a running day.

I procrastinated for as long as I could. I didn't want to go riding today.

I had to get back on my bike. Ever since I wrecked my bike almost 3 weeks ago, I just have not wanted to ride.

The Moab Century is in two weeks so if I didn't get out on the bike today, I might as well give up on going.

I ended up tricking myself into a 54+ mile bike ride. I told myself I would go for 20-30 and do a long ride again tomorrow.

I actually felt much better today than I thought I was going to.

I never shifted out of the middle ring on my bike. I was determined to try and spin today instead of mashing.

It worked. I rarely got out of the saddle today and the few times I did today it was more just to change my position on the bike. When I did stand, I kept my cadence high.

I didn't do a lot of climbing today. I just didn't feel like I could go from zero miles to 50-60 miles and ask my body to do much climbing.

I desperately needed some success on the bike. The pratfall and the freak accident had really shaken my confidence.

Today I gave myself a chance to succeed. The focus was on feeling, a way of being, not on the outcome, how far or how fast.

The unexpected bonus for me was how I felt totally connected with Kelly today. It is so much easier for me to run or ride when I feel her presence with me. Today, I totally felt that connection with her. The miles flew by. It was like a dream that I did not want to wake up from.
I felt content, peaceful. We were together again, like we have been so many times before.

It was the best day I have had on the bike in a long time. Riding with and for my hero.

Grateful for her life and for the love that lives on in my heart.


  1. Sorry to hear you were in pain, I hope your calf doesn't keep bothering you . You still managed an awesome ride. Great job!!

  2. Sounds like an excellent, much-needed, & well-timed ride :)