Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies-April Book Review

This was the most difficult book that I have ever read.  While it is well written and presents in interesting history of cancer and the evolution of it's treatment over the years it is also the most discouraging glimpse of how far away we are from being able to do anything about it.

After zillion of dollars of research, in the war against cancer, we are armed with crude and primitive weapons against a cunning adversary with unlimited resources.

"Cancer, we know now is a disease caused by the uncontrolled growth of a single cell.  This growth is unleashed my mutations-changes in DNA that specifically affect genes that incite unlimited cell growth.  In a normal cell, powerful genetic circuits regulate cell division and cell death. In a cancer cell, these circuits have been broken, unleashing a cell that cannot stop growing. 

That this seemingly simple mechanism-cell growth without barriers-can lie at the heart of this multifaceted illness is a testament to the unfathomable power of cell growth. Cell division allows us as organisms to grow, to adapt,, to recover to repair-to live.  And distorted and unleashed, it allows cancer cells to grow, to flourish to adapt, to recover and to repair-to live at the cost of our living. Cancer cells can grow faster, adapt better. They are the more perfect versions of ourselves."-Siddhartha Mukherjee

This is an important book to read for anyone that have ever been touched in any way by cancer in their lifetime.

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Asbestos Awareness Week April 1-7

I learned today from a comment left on my blog that this is Asbestos Awareness Week.  My new friend Heather asked me to share her story and even sent me some awesome pictures to share as well. 

A Mother' and daughter's love!

Please take a few minutes to learn about the dangers of Asbestos and follow the links in the article and share the message with your friends and family on Twitter, on Facebook, wherever you can.  

Every year 3,000 people are diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a deadly cancer caused by exposure to Asbestos. 

On average these people are given 10 months to live, 300 days, 7,200 hours. 

Imagine what might be possible if 7,200 people shared this message, used their voices to raise awareness, sharing a simple message that could save a life.

Make your actions echo so loudly that no one will be able to hear your words.  Heather beat the odds, will you be a voice so others can as well?

"Remember: From awareness grows hope. Each voice could save a life."~Heather Von St. James

Cameron, Lily and Heather 

Will you commit to being one of the 7,200 voices this week?

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At a loss for words

Today I learned that a dear friend of mine is under hospice care.  She has been battling stage four cancer of the liver and intestines since being diagnosed three days before Christmas in 2011.

The last time Laura and I saw Potts she was volunteering at a 5K road race.  Her battle with cancer hadn't stopped her from her love of volunteering, from coming out and supporting all of the runners she loves and those who love her fiercely in return.

Laura showed Potts her engagement ring and Potts sweetly stated she wanted to come to Laura's wedding and be a stand for her marriage to Chris.

I don't know if there is anyway that she will be able to come and I know without a doubt if she is able she will be there.

So Potts, here's to you.  The kindness you have shown to Laura and my family has mattered greatly to me.  You have made a difference in our lives.

I love you and am sending love and light and prayers your way.

In love and gratitude....

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Potts

I had heard last week that one of my favorite people(Parenthia Jones) in the world had a serious health challenge and today I found out that she is battling cancer.   I am not sure what the nature of her cancer is or the prognosis.

Potts as she is affectionately called by all of us who know her is an icon in the Denver running community.  She is a tireless volunteer. She carried the olympic torch when it passed through here in 2004 on the way to Utah.  Potts carried the torch for a mile just like John Elway.  Almost everyone in Colorado knows who John Elway is and I believe that Potts in her own way is as powerful, maybe more so than John Elway is.

One month after 9/11, Potts through together a 5K run so we could have something to hold onto as a community, as a nation.

A young couple was murdered in Aurora several years ago and Potts put together a wonderful race to honor their memories and begin the healing process for the mother's who lost their children.   Before the start of the race they released beautiful white doves.  It was a beautiful moment.

Potts puts on 4 or 5 small races through her running club, Potts Trotters every year.  She has a loyal following of runners.  The post race award ceremony can take longer than the race did to run with all of the age group awards that she gives out along with all of the raffle prizes.

It is not unusual at all to have age group winners in the 70-74, 75-79 and 80+ years at her events.

Potts was the race director of the Colorado Youth at Risk Possibility 5K last year that Sue put on.  Without Potts helping us, the race doesn't take place.

Potts has a huge heart and is loved dearly by all of us who are lucky enough to know her.

 You can read more about her by clicking here. 

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LLS Man/Woman of the Year Midway rally

I went to the Rocky Mountain Chapter Man/Woman of the year mid year rally tonight after work.

We got to meet the boy and girl of the year.  They are the reason, the inspiration for the men and woman who are putting themselves on the line.

This is one of many of the signature fund raising campaigns for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

This is a 10 week contest where each candidate runs to become the man and woman of the year and every dollar that is raised counts as a vote.  The candidate with the most votes($$$) wins.

It was a nice night.  I got to chat with the Mom and sister of the former boy of the year Robert.  Robert's sister Cassandra is running in honor of Robert this year.

How awesome is that for both of them.

This was a night full of hope, determination, inspiration, commitment.

When I got home I read an email from my Mother. 

Cancer struck once again in our family.

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How has your life been touched or changed by cancer?

I had posed this question in my post titled Wishing for a Kure.  I asked my Mother if I could share her response.  I didn't want to post it as a reply as I felt it deserved it's own post.  It is a compelling  and frightening story of the impact of cancer that my Mother has experienced just within her family. 

How has your life been touched or changed by cancer?


In 1937 my grandmother Helena Trotzig Johnson died of stomach cancer when I was 8 years old. She was such a warm, loving grandmother who made sugar cookies every time she came to visit us. She stayed at the homes of her children a month or two at a time during the year. She was 5'2" and a bit on the plump order. She also gave us lemon drops to suck on.

Next came the passing of my Mother , Rose Helana Johnson Nugent, after a two year fight with breast cancer in July, 1947 when I was 18 years old ( having just finished my freshman year of college). There was not much to do for breast cancer patients at that time. Daddy called all over the country to no avail. Some people said to drink grape juice and that would help. Some of our kind neighbors brought in jar after jar, but after much suffering and with June giving her hypos, she passed away. She looked so much younger when the pain was no longer there. Mother had trained us from childhood to do cooking, baking, cleaning and sewing. So we were equiped to help Daddy and Jim when we would come home for week-ends. She was our 4-H club leader and continued being a leader when all her daughters were no longer in the club..Our club was called "Little Women". She was always helping families in need. We took in her favorite niece, Marlys Mae after she had given birth to her fourth son and I was the baby sitter for the three other little boys.

My favorite little cousin Joyce Richter died of Leukemia the first year that I taught school in Fairmont, 1951. She was ten years old. When she would fuss when a youngster in church I was the one who volunteered to take her outside. She became ill that summer...we thought she had the mumps, but after weeks went on, and the mumps didn't go away it was determined that she had leukemia. She just wanted to go home as nothing the drs. in Minneapolis could do for her and she was gone in September. This was a really hard death to come to terms with for our family. Marlene and I have often talked about how our lives might have been different if Joyce had lived.

In July, 1955 my Father, Franklin Alfred Nugent, died of pancreatic cancer. The doctors had performed surgery on him in Dec. of 1954 and just closed the incision back up as nothing they could do for him. Baby Jan and I had flown home that Christmas to be with him and snuck her into the hospital room to see him. Grandma Mooge Mooge as you called her kept Daddy alive months after the doctors had thought he'd live.You still hear of people dying of panacreatic cancer yet today with no cure found for it. SAD!!! Daddy was the one who had me milking cows, feeding pigs, chickens, cleaning the chicken coop, etc. Each year he let me choose a pig that he would then sell for me to put the money in the bank for my college fund. My pig each year was called Alexander. They were orange and white pigs. All Aunt Joy got for doing chores she told me was a pen and pencil set. I will always remember the twinkle in Daddy's large blue eyes,his playing the violin with Mother at the piano and all of us singing The Little Brown Jug, Red River Valley and many Christmas carols. Two farm chores that we had to do were picking up rocks and pulling weeds. The weed pulling would come after a nice rain and I thought it fun to see them come out of the dirt with their roots dangling. These two chores were always done EARLY in the morning before it was too HOT.

Aunt Joy has survived her bladder cancer as so far she is cancer free after her chemo/ radiation treatments. I called to wish Jack a happy 91st birthday yesterday. He doesn't hear well at all so basically Joy had to tell him for me. He doesn't walk much and has a cane when he does she told me.

Trista is still fighting her shoulder cancer, but looks good right now.

This is how my life as been touched and changed by cancer.

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Moab Century ride

Last Saturday,  I completed my third century ride with Team in Training and my seventeenth event with TNT since I first started running for Kelly in 1999.

Sue, Laura and I headed out for Moab on Thursday afternoon with my Fuji bike safely packed in the trunk. Adam wasn't able to come as he had to work.

Friday morning, Laura and I went out for a quick run where we saw some rocks, red rocks.

Later that morning we had our last workout before the century ride. We did a 30 mile ride where we saw some rocks, red rocks.

We headed off to the the TNT inspiration dinner. There was a slide show that ran continously of our heroes and angels. There were probably 30-40 different pictures on the slide show. The minute we walked into the room, Kelly's picture was the first one we saw.

As I was standing in line at the buffet I felt my heart breaking again for Kelly, for Laiken.  There were other pictures of young people on the slide show.  It is so sad and infuriating at the same time .

The Rocky Mountain chapter was one of six chapters attending this event.  Combined the six chapters had raised $350,000 to support the mission of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

Saturday morning we gathered in the darkness outside our hotel waiting for the start.  We rolled off at 7:05 with a police escort for 125 Team in Training cyclists.  It was already warm when we started.   That was not a good sign.

We rolled out of town and immediately started climbing.  The first part of the climb was fairly flat giving us a chance to get our legs underneath us before the road turned uphill too steeply.

I had a weird conversation with my cycling coach.  He told me I was riding my bike like a triathlete.  I asked him what that meant.  He said I was riding like I wanted to get from the swim to the run.  I wasn't quite sure what to do with that piece of advice 45 minutes into a ride I had been in training for five months so I filed it away for the time being.

After the first aid station, I caught up with another group of my teammates and one of our other coaches, so I just tucked in behind the last cyclist and let the coach set the pace for our small group.

We saw a sign that told us the first climb of the day was upon us.  The Little Nasty as it is affectionately called or maybe not so affectionately.

I was riding with Andres Pedraza who was a collegaue of mine on the Board of Trustees for the Rocky Mountain chapter.   I was riding in front of him as we started the climb up the Little Nasty.  He told me he liked having me in front of him as the pictures I had pinned on the back of my jersey were helping him stay motivated.  I told Andres I had lots of reasons to be riding.  Here are four of them.

My heroes and angels.

Brittany-24

Alyson-5

Kelly

Laiken

Parts of this climb have a 14% elevation grade.  Ouch! 

I actually got in a good rhythm during this portion of the climb.  I was in the correct gear on my bike and made it to the top of the first climb fairly easily.

It was a neat moment for me as I was able to lead Andres on this first climb and was able to get a good picture of him during the final moments of his ascent on the Little Nasty.

Smooth pedaling.

No worries!

Great music, pulling you up the hill.

Who the heck are you?

We left the summit of the Little Nasty and encountered the next sign called Tom's Misery named after a friend of the race director who was quite miserable when he found out he wasn't done climbing and there was much more to come.

We encountered a sign called the Launch pad and then we saw the sign announcing we were about to start the climb up the "Big Nasty". 

So our group decided we better commerate this moment in the true pioneer spirit.

Rocky Mountain TNT mocks the Big Nasty!

Like many things in life, the fear I had of being able to climb the Big Nasty were overblown.  I didn't fall off my bike.  I didn't have to stop and walk.  Some of the climbs I had done in Colorado were much harder.

There was one stretch where the road looked incredibly steep and so long.   I remember feeling very afraid  and I asked Kelly to stay with me during for the rest of the climb and I felt her presence as I have so many times before and we rode to the top of the Big Nasty together.

After the Big Nasty there was still many more miles of climbing to be done.  The next stretch was called the Stairway to Heaven.

Finally after 30 miles, we were about to start our first descent.   As always, that wasn't much fun for me and was even worse than normal as the road was really torn up and there was lots of loose gravel to try and navigate around.   My wrists were aching by the time I finally got to the bottom of this descent.  It was quite treacherous, lots of sharp switchbacks and the gravel that was all over the road.  What a relief to finally hit a nice long straight section with a nice gentle descent.

When I got to the TNT aid station, I caught up with Andres again and we set off on a long out and back section that had lots of rolling hills and zero shade for 18 miles.  It was really hot at this point and it didn't seem like we were ever going to get the turnaround point.

The return part was even worse.  The sun was beating down on us.   I had to let Andres go,  I couldn't stay with him.

When I got back to the TNT aid station, I was in bad shape.  I was dehydrated, and think I may have had some heat exhaustion.  Looking back now, I realize as hot as it was I had stopped sweating.  I felt awful. The people at the aid station were very worried about me and wouldn't let me leave without having someone else to ride with.   I sat in the shade for 45 minutes, drank two full bottles of Gatorade. 

The last 15 miles were a blur.  I couldn't drink any more water.  The sun continued to beat down.  I couldn't do anything, so as best as I could I pedaled on.

We stopped 2 miles short of the finish line to wait for the rest of our chapter so we could finish as a team.

I sat in the shade for another 30 minutes, one of my teammates gave me the last of her powerade.  That seemed to help a little.

Finally we were off and finished the ride as a team.

It was ironic that the part of the ride I was so fearful of wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  It was the last 50 miles of rolling hills and the heat that had done me in.  

My Garmin said I had only rode 98+ miles, not 100.  I didn't care.  I didn't tack on the extra mileage to get to 100.

I got off my bike and walked back to the hotel with Sue and Laura. 

I haven't been back on my bike since,

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Random thoughts at 18 months

Today marks eighteen months of Kelly's passing.

There is a line from the Star Wars movie, A New Hope that I really like.

Obi-Wan Kenobi says to Darth Vader, "You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine".

He eventually sacrifices himself so that Luke and the others can escape. His body disappears before being struck by Vader's light sabre becoming a spirit in the force.

I think of this and how it applies in this fight that rages on with cancer. I often hear others describe how someone has lost their fight with cancer after a long courageous battle.

So much like Darth Vader was confused at to the whereabouts of Obi-Wan, I like to think that cancer is just as mystified when it thinks it has struck someone down.

There is a young woman in my office that is part of my company's Light the Night walk team. Her dad passed away from Leukemia eleven years ago. She is currently my team's top fund raiser for this years walk.

Laiken Kenwood's family and friends continue to raise money and awareness about childhood cancer, organize bone marrow drives.

The Rocky Mountain Team in Training cycling team has raised 98,000 dollars for this seasons ride. I know Kelly's story and her spirit have moved and inspired countless people in this battle with cancer.

Cancer did not strike Kelly down. Cancer did not strike Laiken down.

Cancer came to call one final time only to find it was too late.

Cancer can't win. Kelly and Laiken and so many others have become more powerful than cancer can possibly imagine.

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Riding for Trista

I love the roaring sound of water.

Summit of Ute Pass(9,500 feet)

Blue River

Blue River Century-Getting ready to roll!

I felt very emotional as we rolled off at the start. There were approximately 275 riders that had signed up for the ride, raising money for the Lance Armstrong foundation, riding in honor or in memory of their loved ones.

I was riding in honor of my cousin's daughter, Trista Otto, age 11 who was recently diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of bone cancer. My Aunt had sent me a picture of Trista which I pinned to the back of my jersey. I received many compliments and well wishes for Trista during the ride.

I knew I wasn't really physically ready for this ride. My longest ride had only been 42-43 miles and I had done very little climbing. In some ways that was by choice as I almost felt like it wasn't fair that I could choose to train. Trista didn't get a choice about her cancer.

Off we rolled and I thought of the fight that lays ahead for Trista. I thought about Kelly's fight, the courage she had as she battled for almost 12 years.

I thought about one of the lines I really like in the Lance Armstrong Manifesto as we rode off together.

We're about the fight.

And I thought of the LLS chapter staff

And the Moms I know that fight relentlessly for their kids

And my team heroes

And my TNT teammates

And my angels

We're about the fight, about being relentless for a cure, providing support and hope in anyway we can.

So we pedaled.

There was a 5.1 mile climb to the top of Ute Pass.

After the descent there was a 20 mile per hour headwind which battered the riders. There were times I could have sworn I was riding downhill and I still had to pedal hard.

The wind was relentless, swirling. It was really discouraging. We were getting pummelled. There was nothing to do, but to pedal. So we did.

The last aid station was phenomenal. Cheese and crackers, cookies. Wonderful volunteers. Helpful, supportive, caring. One asked me about Trista. I told him I was riding in her honor. I didn't know what else to do. I just feel helpless, powerless...Riding, doing something is empowering.

They told me it was 6 miles up Montezuma road and 6 miles back to the finish. It was a long 6 miles and I got my wish. I suffered those last 6 miles of climbing. There were times I was tempted to just turnaround. No one will know.

I had to keep going. It was important for me to keep fighting for Trista. I want her to get to her finish line with a cure. If I quit, I wouldn't be honoring her. I wouldn't be honoring Kelly's memory if I gave up. So I pedaled and pedaled and I struggled to turn the pedals over. Finally I saw the sign for the turnaround. I was done climbing.

I am not done fighting.

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Riding for Trista

I have to do something.

I just happened to see an ad in Facebook for the Blue River Century and Metric Century ride which is a benefit for the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

While it may not be the smartest decision I have ever made, I feel like it is something I am supposed to be doing.

I signed up to for the metric century distance(62.1 miles, 3,500 feet of climbing). So on June 20th, I will set out to ride in Trista's honor.

I am woefully unprepared to do this, but who is ready to hear those three words. You have cancer.

I still have almost 3 weeks to train and prepare myself as best as I can to get through the day.

While I am training and able to take rest days if I need to or if I am just not feeling motivated, Trista has chemo treatments. She doesn't have the luxury of choosing.

So many times we have more than one choice as we go about our lives.

Kelly, Laiken, Brittany and now Trista and so many others, too many others.

Cancer, choose.

Choose your cancer.

It's not fair. It's just life.

Choose your life.

Livestrong!

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Not again

I found out today that my cousin's daughter has been diagnosed with bone cancer at the age of 11.

It is in her right shoulder. It is a rare kind and aggressive. She started chemo on Monday. She was in the hospital 3 days with a constant drip.

She will wait 3 weeks and then go in for 5 more days for the constant drip. She has a 95% chance to make the first year. I guess they will do this hoping it will shrink enough to remove it surgically. The treatments will continue as long as it is working.

The Make a Wish foundation has told her make a wish and they would see that it comes true.
We are all devastated, but are keeping positive that she will someday be completely well. She is in God's hands. Please pray for her!

There just seems to be no end to this. As a mother of a little boy who died earlier this year of neuroblastoma cancer said, "Something has got to give".

To anyone that is reading this please click here and light a candle to show your support for Trista.

L&L x 11...

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L&L for Zoe x 1,000,000

Enough already.

Yesterday Zoe's Mother Deb , joined Kelly and Laiken and is free from her cancer forever.

There are no hospitals in heaven.

Cancer no knows boundaries. It is heartless. It is also stupid.

Zoe wants to raise $1,000,000.00 to honor her Mother.

Love and Light for Zoe x 1,000,000.

Cancer, you lose again. This time to an 8 year old girl. Game on!

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Oh no, IMADEAMESS

My two year great nephew Keegan gave me the title to my post. I thought that was fitting as I have the emotional stability of a two year old right now.

Brittany left me the nicest message on my cell phone today and I have been crying ever since I listened to it.

Brittany is going to featured speaker at a black tie gala fund raiser for the LLS chapter in Orlando on Saturday.

She went shopping at the Magic Kingdom today and bought an Eeyore stuffed animal. She plans on carrying Eeyore with her all day tomorrow to honor Kelly and will put Eeyore next to her on the podium on Saturday and share with the audience that Kelly is her inspiration for the night.

I am crying as I type this. I can't explain how much that has touched me. Brittany shares an unbreakable bond with Kelly and for her to honor Kelly and keep her memory alive in this way....

I don't know what to say.

I know Brittany will keep fighting for Kelly. It is such an honor for me to know such amazing people.

Please take a minute to watch this message to cancer here

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What calls your heart?

What calls your heart? The closing of the Rocky Mountain News yesterday serves a another reminder that when our heart calls, we should answer. Don't screen the calls from your heart, don't let it go to voice mail. Make sure that is one call you return.

I was very saddened to see the Rocky Mountain News close. I have lived in Colorado my entire life. I have been a loyal reader of the Rocky since I delivered the paper in 1972-1973.

Delivering the newspaper in an era long since gone on an indestructible bike with canvas bags to hold the newspaper. I had to go door to door every month to collect the $2.25 so I could pay the monthly invoice. I think I made around 100.00 a month before tips. Kids today don't even get the chance to have that experience. Papers are delivered by adults in cars, all the billing is done on-line and now today the voice of the Rocky is silent, 55 days short of it's 150 year anniversary.

As I read this article I was struck by the importance of the question, what calls your heart? How many of us are ready to answer that call?

Lance Armstrong is getting back on his bike answering the calling of his heart as he continues his relentless battle against cancer.

I see so many of my friends and colleagues at the Leukemia and Lymphoma society that are called by their hearts to serve. Could they make more money if they weren't working for a non profit? Absolutely, but that is not where their hearts have called them.

I see the changes in my wife as she answers what is calling her heart as she serves as a mentor in the Colorado Youth at Risk program.

My children are both in college. I hope they will know what their hearts call them to do and follow that path.

What calls your heart? Please make sure you answer.

Please take a moment to read the column. here

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You don't tug on Supermom's cape

If only it was a fair fight.

It isn’t. Yesterday another person who was just getting his toe in the water passed away after a three year battle with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.

Matthew was diagnosed on my birthday in 2005. What is it with people being diagnosed so close to Christmas? It is strange how that seems to happen so often.

One year and one day later, Kelly’s parents were calling us. Laura came downstairs to tell me excitedly that the Grubb’s were on the phone. By the time I got upstairs, Laura’s face was ashen. Kelly had relapsed. I was stunned, heartbroken. Adam and I had seen Kelly nine months earlier at her high school prom. I would never have believed her cancer could return.

She had such a sparkle in her eye.

No fair.

One of the things I find so amazing as I watch so many of these stories unfold is the unbelievable courage and compassion that the mothers of these children reveal.

There is a bond they all share with one another. Their lives have been changed forever. They have a child that has been touched by cancer.

They don’t back away from this battle. They are tireless advocates for their children, and for others that are in different parts of this journey. They follow these stories on CaringBridge or CarePages websites.

They offer their support, encouragement and prayers. They stand by each other, raising awareness, fighting for these children. These Moms’s are tough. I wouldn’t want to mess with them.

So if I could level the playing field, I would like to put these Moms in a room with cancer and see who comes out on top.

My money is on this elite group of women.

Now that I think about it, that might not be a fair fight.

Cancer, you are so out of your league.

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