Empty Chairs and Empty Cubicles

With apologies to Alan Boubil and  Claude MichaelSchonberg:

There’s a sadness that can’t be spoken.

There’s a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty cubicles
Now my friends and I are gone.

Here we talked our dreams.
Here it was we lit the flame.
Here we talked about `tomorrow’
And tomorrow never came.

Phantom faces at the window.
Phantom shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs at empty cubicles.
Where my friends and I will work no more.

Oh my friends, my friends, don’t ask me
what our sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty cubicles
Where my friends and I will meet no more.

Thursday, we were told that our jobs were being eliminated, moved to a managed services group(fancy word for outsourcing).

I had worked with some of these people for over 15 years, one for 20 years.

We had raised our families while working together.

I will miss my friends.

As Al Gore, said during this concession speech, "It's time for me to go."

Empty Chairs and Empty Tables .

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What calls your heart?

What calls your heart? The closing of the Rocky Mountain News yesterday serves a another reminder that when our heart calls, we should answer. Don't screen the calls from your heart, don't let it go to voice mail. Make sure that is one call you return.

I was very saddened to see the Rocky Mountain News close. I have lived in Colorado my entire life. I have been a loyal reader of the Rocky since I delivered the paper in 1972-1973.

Delivering the newspaper in an era long since gone on an indestructible bike with canvas bags to hold the newspaper. I had to go door to door every month to collect the $2.25 so I could pay the monthly invoice. I think I made around 100.00 a month before tips. Kids today don't even get the chance to have that experience. Papers are delivered by adults in cars, all the billing is done on-line and now today the voice of the Rocky is silent, 55 days short of it's 150 year anniversary.

As I read this article I was struck by the importance of the question, what calls your heart? How many of us are ready to answer that call?

Lance Armstrong is getting back on his bike answering the calling of his heart as he continues his relentless battle against cancer.

I see so many of my friends and colleagues at the Leukemia and Lymphoma society that are called by their hearts to serve. Could they make more money if they weren't working for a non profit? Absolutely, but that is not where their hearts have called them.

I see the changes in my wife as she answers what is calling her heart as she serves as a mentor in the Colorado Youth at Risk program.

My children are both in college. I hope they will know what their hearts call them to do and follow that path.

What calls your heart? Please make sure you answer.

Please take a moment to read the column. here

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Trooper Dante

Sigh. I started following Dante's cancer journey a couple of months ago.

Dante has a form of cancer called Nueroblastoma. His nickname at the hospital was Trooper and that is what everyone called him. Trooper Dante.

Dante is just a couple of months older than our great nephew Keegan. This morning Dante earned his angel wings.

Please keep Jo and Tony(Dante's parents) in your prayers.

If there is a daycare in heaven, Kelly has a neat little boy to take care of.

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What a week

This was a week filled with many different thoughts and emotions, fear, sadness, relief(sort of), ambivalence, uncertainty...

First off on the medical front.

Results of the CT scan came back good. The nodules that had been detected on the earlier chest x-ray have been there for years and are not growing.

Blood work and chest/CT scans show no indication that the sarcoidosis has come out of remission.

I had a thallium treadmill test on Wednesday. This is a treadmill test where you are injected with a small dose of nuclear medicine which helps monitor the blood flow to the muscles of the heart and would help pinpoint any abnormalities or possible indicate a form of coronary disease.

Naturally when I was on the treadmill my heart did not skyrocket. The test normally takes 10 minutes to reach the target heart rate and I went well past the 10 minute mark before I reached the target heart rate of 152 bpm. My EKG was completely normal and I tested at the high end of the fitness level for people that are 30-39 years old. They also told me that my heart rate of recovery was very good. Most people recover about 10-20 bpm and my heart rate had dropped to 100 in 60 seconds. Now this is all very good news as it ruled out any form of coronary heart trouble.

Unanswered still is what is causing all of the aching legs, rapid heart rate, cramping, feelings of malaise. Not sure at this point what the next steps the doctor will take or if there will be further testing he might pursue.

One of my worst fears came to pass earlier this week at work. There had been a flurry of "fire drills" going on at work, numerous cryptic requests from upper management for information.

Thursday morning, the first wave of layoffs in my company began. There were five people in my suite who received the bad news that their jobs had been eliminated. 60 positions in Denver had been eliminated and 200 across the company. There seems to be no end to the bad news. Layoffs are part of the daily news, but it never seems real. Thursday it became real. I lost a colleague that I had worked with for 17 years. We had played golf together over the years. He was a trusted friend. The first day I started my job as a programmer in 1991 this person went out of his way to welcome me and offer his support. When I considered taking another job years ago, he was a trusted advisor in a decision I agonized over.

While I survived the first round of layoffs, I am sure there will be more to come. Our stock was trading around 30.00 in August and last week closed around 11.00.

It will feel strange at work for some time if it ever feels normal again.

I will miss my friend and many other colleagues that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to.

What will this week bring?

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