Sunday, August 17, 2008

Five months

I laid in bed this morning desperately trying to figure out how to get my planned 18 mile run in before Church this morning. What time would I have to get out of bed by in order to do this and get to Church on time.

I laid there trying to figure this out and the clock kept ticking away. I just couldn't make myself get out of bed. I thought about just giving up on it all together and run tomorrow instead. Why can't I get out of bed? What is wrong with me? I am wide awake....

Finally I get up and get out the door, far too late to run 18 miles. I struggled and I mean I really struggled and managed to get in twelve miles.

Today marks the five month anniversary of Kelly's passing. I thought about this all through my run today. The weather was even similar to that day in March, gloomy sky to match my mood.

I felt so sad while I was running. I missed Kelly so much today.

Even seeing Keegan today, didn't pick me up like it normally does.

I feel empty, maybe tomorrow will be better.


  1. I have those kind of days too!
    It's so good to know I have family to talk to.
    (counting the ones in Colorado!!)

  2. Hey Ross,

    I am glad you made it to church that day. I continue to pray for your peace and comfort.

    Aaron C.

  3. each time the 17th rolls around, i too can't help but tally the days, months since i last saw kelly, hugged her, kissed her, talked and laughed with her.....
    can you believe our wonderful God that he urged you to come to Seattle to see us in February? He knew what was ahead and that you needed to go see Kelly. And you know she was still having some fair days when you were there. What were your impressions Ross when you came? Did you see that she had gotten much sicker? We were so involved in the everyday medical care, I know we missed some things, didn't notice or didn't want to notice some of the decline in health - believed that she was always strong enough to come back from every setback.....
    anyway, i think of you often as well and your lovely family....we were making a list today of goals for our family - financial, spiritual, and otherwise - a trip to Colorado next summer is top priority (well almost top, Seattle and the grandsons are right up there just a smidge above our Denver neighbors!)
    sending our love to you all.....