Seven years ago today Kelly passed away from her almost twelve year battle with Leukemia. How can that be, and how cruel is it that each year we are left to wonder, what might have been, could things be different for her now, would there be or is there now another treatment that could have saved her life, something that would have let her live a life without cancer?
I still don't understand any of this, there will never be any words that I can write that would make sense of it, so I don't know why I would try again. There are no words, nothing at all that will wash away the hurt of this world without her, a world with blood cancer, a world without Kelly being able to live in it free from cancer,
I wonder what Kelly would be doing today. Would she be running a day care, would she have a husband, where would she be living? Would she have started a family, adopting children to love? All of these unanswerable questions, we will never know, none of us will ever be able to answer. I wonder what would she look like now, what color would her hair be, would her eyes sparkle like they did on prom weekend in 2006, what would she be interested in, what would be the thing that makes her heart leap?
Questions, questions, so many questions, and none that I can answer. Who would she have chosen to love, to spend her life with? Who is that man that will never receive such a gift? How is his life different, because he didn't get to know Kelly, how was his life forever changed by her passing?
I so miss her sweet smile that would light up a room. A smile that cancer took away from us in this world, a smile that lives on in our hearts a smile tucked closely to our hearts in a place that cancer can never reach into. Yes, a place where her smile lives and lives forever.
|Gavin, Kelly and Marcy|