Trust Gratitude Inspiration Friday #7

Today I am trusting that I will find my way to discover what I am supposed to do next in my career.

Today I am grateful for the unflinching support my wife has provided during this time of transistion.

Today I am inspired by the relentless efforts of the Rocky Mountain Chapter in their efforts to find a cure for blood cancers.

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Gratitude

                                                     Kelly Rocks the Rockies!!!

As we arrived at the LLS Board retreat yesterday we were instructed to choose a word tile that reasonated with us and to not reveal our word until the end of the meeting.

I had taken one of my favorite Kelly pictures to the meeting as I wanted the new members of the board to be able to associate her face with her name.

At the beginning of the meeting, I spoke about how I had become involved with LLS back in 1999 and why I was still involved.

I was connected to Kelly through the Team in Training program.   I have crossed the finish line of  17 Team in Training events for Kelly, the last two events I have completed since her passing in March, 2008.

I am doing this to honor her life, keep her memory alive.  She is my hero.

At the end of the meeting we were all asked to reveal our word choices.

Elly had chosen relentless.  Elly has been on the board for five years. She talked passionately about being relentless for a cure.  There are still too many Kelly's and Laiken's, and Melina's.  We can't lose any more people to cancer...

As I waited for my turn to speak, I could feel the emotion welling up inside me.  I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get through this and not fall apart.

My turn came.

The word I had chosen was gratitude.

I am so grateful for Kelly's life.   Her life is such a gift to me and I will forever be grateful for all she gave me.

Kelly was more than my team hero.

She was my friend.  She was my mentor, a role model.

Kelly was given up for dead at the age of 12.  3 months to live.

Don and Patty were told they could try and treat Kelly with an experimental protocol that included Arsenic(Rat poison).   They opted against that treatment and prepared to lose Kelly in a very short period of time.

Because there were others that came before me that were relentless, new treatment protocols were being developed.

A young college student at the University of Notre Dame signed up for the bone marrow registry in support of a classmate that needed a transplant.

Ground breaking research was ongoing, funded by programs like Team in Training and Light the Night.


One year later, Kelly received a mini stem cell transplant.  This protocol was not available one year earier.

Emily became Kelly's donor and we all received the greatest gift of all. 

More time with Kelly.

Kelly had a remission period that lasted almost 5 years.

I got to see Adam and Kelly walk down the runway of her high school during prom weekend of her junior year.

I got to watch Kelly walk with her classmates and graduate from high school.

I got to watch Emily and Kelly meet for the first time in February 2008.

Every moment, every memory, priceless.

Kelly chose her life.  She chose her cancer.

Kelly lived her life joyfully.

Her life was a gift to me.

Knowing Kelly changed my life.

Yes, my word is gratitude.

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Rushing and missing the moment

As I was leaving the office for my final time last month, two of  my friends walked me out to my car to say goodbye.

We hugged one another for the last time and one of my friends gave me a gift.

Rushed through the moment.

My friend told me that she loved me.

I should have stopped to really take that in and celebrate her gift.

She truly has been a good friend.

She has had my back at work for 15 years.

Someone that I really admire and respect. 

Someone I could talk to about anything.

She was one of the first people I talked to at work the day Kelly died, fell in her arms and cried.

Bummer.  I missed it.

I can't have that moment back.

I will be sure and really thank her the next time I see her.  Tell her how much her words touched me.

I hope the next time I get a gift like this I stop and savor it and really be present to the moment.

How do you  respond when someone tells you that you are loved, that you are special?

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Bonded by Love

I registered my Light the Night team yesterday.

Please click here to if you would like do donate or even better, join the team and come walk with me as we fill the night with Light and Love for Kelly and Laiken.

There is a scene from Titanic where Rose tells Jack Dawson that when the ship docks that she is going to get off the ship with him.

Jack says, "this is crazy.  Rose replies, "Yes.  It doesn't make any sense.  That is why I trust it.

I am standing in my love for Kelly and Laiken and trusting that this is what I am supposed to be doing.

Please join me in standing for Kelly and Laiken, making a difference in this fight against cancer.

Smile on pretty girls!

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Final Chapter

Yesterday was my last day at my job, 20 years, 3 months to the day I started there.

I started on our 7th wedding anniversary.

Laura was about to turn 3 years old.

Sue was 7 months pregnant with Adam.

I have worked for this company his entire lifetime.

Weirdness.

The last 42 days at work have been very difficult.

We trained a team of people on how to do our jobs.  Transition 20 years of knowledge in a series of 1-2 hour sessions.

More weirdness.

The last week for me was about getting closure and being complete with the people that mattered most to me.

I had to say good bye to one of my colleagues on Monday. 

The first glimpse of the emotions that would fill the rest of the week.

I told her that I had loved working with her, I will miss you.   I hugged her good bye.   She told me to stay in touch...

Wednesday, I scheduled a meeting with another of my colleagues.  We chatted about all the years we had shared.   We had both raised our families while we worked together.

I said my good byes to three of my favorite people on Thursday, thanking them for their support and friendship that has meant so much to me.

Friday was a final lunch with another person I was close to.   I couldn't bring myself to say what I needed to say to her.  I knew I wasn't complete.

We got back to our desks,  I grabbed a box of kleenex and asked her to come with me to an empty conference room.  

I was surprised by the emotion I felt.  I had gotten through all of my good byes with no tears and now my voice quavered and the tears began to fall.

I said what I needed to say, we hugged one another good bye through our tears.

I said my good byes to the final two people that I wanted to acknowledge before I left.

I struggled so much these last 42 days at work, trying to understand the lesson, trying to find the gift.

When Kelly was dying, her Mom talked about that there was nothing left unsaid between Kelly and her family.   That was part of the gift of her cancer journey.

For me, that was my gift as well to leave nothing left unsaid.

I thought I was giving my friends this gift and it turned out that it was really a gift I ended up giving to myself.

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Jack Bauer and me

I am winding down to my last 24 hours at my job.

Luckily, I am past the days when 24 hours used to occur in real time. I had more times than I care to recall when my days would last that long and then some.

24 hours to go in a career that has lasted  over 45,000 hours.

In Jack Bauer time, I would be starting episode 1,875.

I wonder if Chloe can upload that link to my PDA.

So for now I am running out of  time

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Taking back the Park for Chelsea King

Sunday morning, I lined up at the back of pack to begin my run to take back the park for Chelsea King.

I rode my bike through the Garden of the Gods last summer.  Jaw dropping beauty.  I know of no other way to describe this.

I was glad I had chosen this venue to run in honor of Chelsea. 

There were many fun cheer stations lined with young high school students from Manitou Springs.  Beach party themes, Santa's workshop and river rafting were some of the cheer station themes.  Very high spirits.  Nice to see those young people donating their time.

I think Chelsea would have liked that.  These young people could have been her classmates...

Only bummer of the day was my Canon SD750 battery pack was dead so I had to use my cell phone to take pictures with.  No camera can do justice to what one sees with our eyes.

Oh my gosh.  Those hills.  I keep trying to remember the time when I liked to run uphill.

The actual race report.

Did I mention it was hilly?

I arrived at the mile 3 mark and saw the lead men on their way back to the finish.  I had run 3, they had almost run 7.  They were smoking!!!

I followed the wisdom of marathon runner Walter Stack to "go out slow, and then taper off".  

I stopped on many occasions to try and take some pictures with my cell phone. Almost none of them turned out...

I really was present to the beauty of my surroundings during the run. So many times, I hurry to get to the finish and end up missing so much...

I hope that Chelsea enjoyed running along side me today.  I know I enjoyed keeping her close to my heart.

I can't wait to go run this again next year.   I want to make this an annual run to take back the park for Chelsea.

Running for Chelsea, running for Kelly and Laiken. I consider it a sacred honor.

Light and Love for Chelsea x 17 x forever...

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